I know the title of this article may intrigue you, but for me, the name Hannah has meant more to me in the past 10 years than I could have every imagined. I would like to share my story with you. It all started for me in high school. I was in a relationship with a guy from my gym class and trying to walk with the Lord though failing miserably. In the midst of my constant struggle, I found myself pregnant. If you or someone you know has ever been in this situation as a young girl, you know that it is one of the most fearful places to find yourself. I was terrified, and I did not know what I know now. I did not know that there were pregnancy resource centers to assist me. I did not know that my parents would have supported me. I did not know that my life would not be ruined though that is all I heard. I did not know the life that I could have had with Hannah. The list of things I did not know were endless, but one thing I did know. I believed the lie that an abortion was my only option. Oct 13th, 1999 was the last day that I spent with my precious Hannah.
For several years, I believed that I made the right decision. It was not until my pain swelled up and burst one day as I sat in front of one of my best friends pouring the story out to her. The story of my past came out like a flood. It was trapped inside my weak frame for two years and was finally released. It felt amazing. It did not take long before I found myself telling my story to hundreds and then thousands. The freedom I experienced shocked me. Although the Lord miraculously set me free, it was what soon followed that really swept me off my feet.
The night that I shared my story for the first time, a pastor came up to me to pray for me. He knew that I was experiencing inner healing. It was pretty obvious given the tears that were dropping like boulders from my eyes. Although he knew this, he knew nothing more. Despite his lack of knowledge, the Lord spoke through him one of the most profound sentences He has ever said to me. The man looked at me with the Lord’s love in his eyes and told me, “The Lord looks at you the way that He looked at Hannah in the scriptures.” I did not know that those words would send me on a life long study of Hannah, the mother of Samuel. She is only talked about in two chapters in the entire scriptures, but she is my hero. She persisted in prayer, and the Lord remembered her. He looked upon her barrenness and opened her womb. He saw her longing for a son to dedicate back to him. He heard her prayers and saw her fasting. He remembered her. The Lord remembered me. It was amazing, but it did not stop there. He continues to sweep me off my feet.
After this day, everywhere I went I received the same word, just in case I did not hear it the first time. Finally, on a VERY cold day in Washington D.C., I was worshipping the Lord with hundreds of others on a strategic day of intercession when the Lord visited me and spoke one more precious sentence into my spirit. He whispered in my ear, “Her name is Hannah.” I said, “Who Lord? Whose name is Hannah?” He followed with a lengthy description of his thoughts and dreams for the little girl that I aborted on that lonely day in 1999. He continued as if he was reading a book still locked in his heart for little Hannah. The world never had the opportunity to see the book lived out, but my merciful Father choose to read that book to me that day. He described intimate details. I wept, and He held me.
Ever since that day in D.C, I continue to study the life of Hannah and rejoice with every piece of revelation. It is like I am learning the Lord’s heart for me, and the daughter I only carried for 6 weeks. Her life had worth. Her short life changed mine! Even though I know that my decision to have an abortion was the wrong one, I am so thankful to the Lord for His mercy. His is so good!
Ian adds: As well as being a contributor to this blog, Cathy, will be leading our JHOP DC internship. Bound4LIFE is excited to have her on board.