It’s a waiting game. Maybe you’ve felt the call to adopt, but you’re waiting for confirmation from God, for a spouse to get on board, for a debt to be cleared away.
Then you start the process, and you wait, for documents to be mailed here and there, for appointments at doctor’s offices, in lines to be fingerprinted, for approval. You wait for home study visits, for more approvals. All along the way, you’re waiting, for friends and family to understand, to really see, to jump in with their hearts and their support, emotionally and financially.
Then you wait to be matched, for a phone call that says, “There’s a baby! Maybe it’s your child!” You wait for a woman to walk into an office, to make an agonizing decision, to look at your picture and a few paragraphs that sum you up, and choose you to parent her child. Once you know the meeting is happening, you wait for another call.
And then, what must be the hardest part, waiting for a baby that is real, and captures your heart, but does not belong to you, not yet. He or she, safely nestled in his mother’s womb, waits to be born, for his mother to make that decision, again, to put him into your arms. You wait.
I spent 17 weeks on pregnancy bed rest with one of my sons, and the waiting was the hardest part, because really there are no guarantees. What you wait for may never come, or it may come and go, and you are at the mercy of time and choices beyond your control.
Really, though, knowing that life is out of your control is probably good for you, for me. Because, honestly, it always is and we just fool ourselves into thinking it’s in our hands.
Maybe it’s best to let go, and acknowledge that life, and today is making me crazy, and I need a Savior to come and sit with me while I wait.