Last week, we posted a link to a story on Life Site News about a funeral for a late-term aborted baby. Some of the feedback we got back was from people who were convinced from looking at the picture that this baby had been terminally ill, and that no woman should ever have to carry and deliver a dying baby. I want to address that a little, from my own life. (I also want to address: “No one would adopt a terminally ill child,” but, another day)
In 2004, I gave birth to severely premature twins. At 24 weeks gestation, they were about 12 inches long and just over 1 pound each. They were sick and bruised the first time I saw them, and their condition deteriorated over the 2 days they lived on earth, but to me they were beautiful. They went home to heaven hours apart, and left a gaping hole in my heart that will never fully heal, this side of eternity.
Despite it all, there is not a thing in the world I would trade for that 6 months of pregnancy, those 2 days with my sons. They had distinct facial features, body shapes, personalities. We held them, we sang to them, and we said goodbye. It was horrible and beautiful, heartwrenching and totally and completely worth it. My sons are a part of me, and I am so grateful to God that I had that glimpse of them.
Through my experience, I learned, more than ever, the sanctity of life. Many friends I’ve made over the years have said the same thing: it is worth it. The undeniable sadness of carrying a baby who won’t survive, the delivery process, the loss, all of it. They all say they were the richer for having their child; not that their choice was easy, but that it was right.
If you’re a woman facing a negative prenatal diagnosis, I want to encourage you, you can do this. You can carry your baby, you can say goodbye, you can live through the pain. When it’s all over, you will not regret giving that time to your baby. Cutting their life shorter will not ease your pain.
If you’re post-abortive, I am not throwing stones at you. I know your heart is broken, and I’m desperately sorry for your loss. God loves you, and He wants to heal your heart.
Some resources for families facing a negative prenatal diagnosis: