Over the past week I have been struggling. I have gotten to the point where I can’t even read an article or news update about abortion. I find myself getting angry at just the titles and can’t even bring myself to read the contents of some articles. I told a friend of mine last night that I feel like Peter when he tried to defend Jesus and he cut off the ear of one of the high priest’s servants (John 18:10) Not that I would actually hurt anyone. Not at all! But when I see a news title like "Shock: No jail time for woman who strangled newborn because Canada accepts abortion, says judge," there is a part of me inside that screams and fumes and wants to throw something and weep all at the same time.

Ever feel like this? Be honest.

I am fully aware why this is happening. I haven’t been rooted in prayer as of late. I’ve been so focused on shouting from the rooftops of the injustice of abortion that I haven’t quieted myself to ask the Lord what He thinks about all this. It’s easy for me to get stuck in automatic pilot and assume that I already know how God would respond to some of the happenings as of late where abortion is concerned. I mean, hello! There is the whole “Thou shall not murder” commandment. It’s easy to have that card ready to play at any time, but I’m sure there’s more that the Father wants to communicate in response to abortion.

I don’t know about you, but when I push prayer to the back burner, I distract myself. I allow things like entertainment, food, the internet, etc to pull me into a pit of false comfort. And I just sit there, not really satisfied at all, wishing I could get out. While in the pit, I ignore things that are “too depressing” like, well, anything that can be found on the evening news. Reading anything about abortion can get my blood pumping pretty hard. And then I realize this isn’t helping anything at all. It’s no use to distract myself from everything that’s really going on in the world. And I’m not talking about the latest celebrity marriage, divorce, or scandal either.

Ignoring a problem doesn’t mean that it disappears. You can tune out all the bad stuff that goes on in this world, all of the ugliness and injustices, but tuning it out and filling ourselves with temporal distractions does nothing but weigh us down and encourage complacency and indifference. Rooting ourselves in prayer will sustain us in the fight. Rooting ourselves in constant communication with the Holy Spirit like Ephesians 6:18 commands gives us His heart that is overflowing with mercy. It is His grace that is sufficient, not our passion.

We are His hands and feet. We are the agents of change. We are the history makers and planet shakers and it’s time for us to get so close to the Father that we can hear His voice without question. This is where we will find our voice. This is where hearts are drawn to the Father’s love and laws are changed.  This is where we will find boldness, and more importantly, love.  Not just love for the unborn, but for the doctors that are in the business of taking the lives babies everyday.

How do I love them when everything in my flesh wants to shake them? Only Jesus can show me.

Time to press delete, and start fresh.

“And now these three remain: Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1Corinthians 13:13