As I think about the wonderful fathers in my life, I am also sobered by the thought that since 1973, over 50 million in the United States are fathers to dead babies because of legal abortions. I personally know dads who are faced with the indescribable pain of losing the children they love. Compassion should fill all of our hearts for all of them. My heart is hurting this morning for men who have lost children by abortions. I know men who feel much regret and guilt for encouraging abortions or not encouraging life. Some men don’t even know until it is too late.
Pro-abortion fanatics try to impose the myth that abortion is a women’s issue and that men are irrelevant in the discussion and not impacted by the choice of these women. This simply is not true; it couldn’t be more wrong.
I have read numerous courageous testimonies of men who have come forward to admit the deep hurt, grief, and regret they face for years following the abortion of their children.
to investigate the effects of abortion on men discovered multiple disturbing trends.
- Most relationships men were in at the time of the abortion failed in less than a year.
- Only about 1% said they would consider abortion again in the future
- Over 90% experienced grief and sadness
- Over 90% experience persistent thoughts about the baby
- The least likely person anyone questioned would confide in about his abortion experience was clergy.
Society and the current custody laws in the United States do not honor fathers. In sexual relationships which result in the conception of children, the father has no legal right to his unborn child and it is considered outrageous for anyone to question this anti-father position. Think about most modern media! With rare exception, fathers on television and movies are portrayed as goofy, non-vital, dishonorable members of the family, downplaying their role and creating a culture that views fathers as not only unnecessary, but contemptible, contrary to their vital need and position in life.
These media representations are not only contrary to the reality of the vital need of a child for a father, but also God’s perfect design for family. Our Heavenly Father not only created us with a beautiful deep desire to honor fathers, but also a desire to be loved by them and for them to say that they are pleased with us. Even Jesus himself didn’t began His public ministry until after He was affirmed by His Father.
Maybe a lack of fatherly affirmation and affection has caused society to take this bitter stance of despising the honor of fatherhood. Children long for the approval of their fathers. It’s not a complex or a disorder to want to honor your father or to know that he is pleased with you. It is a beautiful part of your design as a human. God created this need in us only for the sake of filling our hearts to overflowing; beyond even our deepest desires.
For those of you reading with bitterness regarding fathers or a resistance to honoring fathers, please forgive the men who have hurt you and allow God to heal your heart and be your Father. He is a Father even to the fatherless and even if your parents abandon you, your Heavenly Father will never abandon you.
We cannot allow bitterness and disappointment to dictate how we feel about the fathers affected by abortion, and fathers should not be left out of the abortion discussion as if they do not exist.
Please honor fathers today. Please also pray with me for fathers who have lost children naturally or through abortion. Let’s change the hurting world’s outlook on clergy and Christians. Condemnation will not heal these hurting dads, love alone through Christ will.